Wednesday, 8 September 2004

domestic flyer, will sleep against windows

there must be something profound to say when writing a blog post 27,000 feet in the air. the dizziness of halfmoon-shaped veldfires and the setting sun glowing ominously against a turboprop cone must inspire something worthy of typing.

don’t be fooled.

just like the picture of my half-eaten chicken sausage roll yesterday, or those of joburg’s empty highways at 4:30 this morning don’t actually add up to much; industrial behemoths like the one down under, spewing smoke over rural bleak south africa, suddenly doesn’t seem inspiring anymore

i am travelling again this week. duh. and god forbid something exciting happens to me. fly drive work drive work fly work drive fly. notice that sleep is not listed. the only valid ommission is nando's. warren ellis’s blog shows how to travel and say interesting stuff and take interesting photos about the most boring crap in the world, so go read that if this is not doing anything for you yet.

anyway, as a next paragraph, here i go again, like someone that’s not used to something. the best thing about being up in the air like this, surrounded by unlikeable strangers is having my music blasted strait into my skull through my iPod earphones. being used to the cringes and stares and mumblings and shuffling movements of people when i put on music, this is like having a captive audience and they don’t seem to matter, because it’s so LOUD.

out of boredom i will list below an excerpt from an idea i once had. a short story about the most evil of evil persons: a punmeister. and today’s excerpt will be a sample from the punmeisters puny little book of punilinguism.
see. flying in airplanes make you grasp for backups.

puny – a little, or small pun.
punnet – a collection of various puns in a sentence
puntang – a sexy or lascivious pun (replaced punnilingus)
punlet – not really a pun, but funny anyhow
bun – a dumb pun
punter – person delivering a pun, in most cultures viewed as a sort of lower class member of the human race
punch – totally inappropriate pun delivered out of the blue
punctilious – unobtrusive pun slipped into earnest conversation and no indications by the punter that it was deliberate
pundit – a fanatic punster, prone to continuously quote statistics of the aforegoing conversation’s puntential
punctual – the timely delivery of a pun in an awkward social conversation to make everybody present groan inwardly and excuse themselves, all the while relieved that they can get away
puncture – an insensitive pun, mocking a persons present’s situation, physical appearance etc. - popular in tv and movie comedies
pungent – a pun involving bodily functions – very common, but sometimes confused to mean a pun delivered by a man
punitive – a pun intended to frustrate a person who is known to be adverse to puns but cannot extricate him/herself from company
punish – similar to the above
punk – a over-the-top use of puns just for shock-value
puntet – a set of rhyming puns

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